Everyone’s wrong about folding phones–except Apple

Is everyone enjoying their foldable phones? You may recall that a few years back we were being told that foldable phones were all the rage and soon we would all be using one and, sure enough, here we are all folding our phones.

What a magical world we all live in. So foldable. So phone.

No, actually, none of that happened, despite the fevered dreams of pundits which go back as far back as 2017, when people were claiming Apple was behind on foldable phone technology because Microsoft filed a patent for one. And now Microsoft is that largest phone manufacturer.

Nope. Nope. That didn’t happen, either.

Microsoft does now sell a foldable Android phone (not with a foldable display but with two separate screens connected with a hinge). So that happened and you can get one for the low, low price of… [pretends to check something, really just spends a moment sighing and staring at nothing]… $1,499.99.

Surely the company has sold dozens of them. This is indeed troubling for Apple. One thing we know for sure, though, is that it’s Apple that sells products that are priced too high and are niche devices not suitable for most users.

Yeah.

In 2019, pundits said the fact that Apple hadn’t shipped a foldable phone showed the company was “no longer innovative”. After all, Samsung shipped one and it worked just great.

“My Galaxy Fold display is damaged after a day”

Okay, not great great, just, you know… well, terribly, to be honest. Just awful.

Still pundits pushed the idea that Apple was somehow behind on these things that didn’t work at all. Apple was “boring” for shipping the iPhone 12 and Microsoft “exciting” for shipping the Suface Duo. This despite the fact that the Duo had buggy software and a lousy camera at the aforementioned high price.

STILL. Still, though. The phones. They fold. Very exciting, right?

No, still not exciting. And here in the now times, it’s Samsung that’s getting chastised for actually still making foldable phones.

Irony!

“Samsung Falling Behind Apple in AR/VR Space Due to ‘Obsession’ With Foldable Smartphones”

Look, just give them 40 or 50 more tries, they’ll get them right! Admittedly, only after Apple ships one and shows them how it’s done, but still.

Samsung shareholders are said to be concerned by its perceived preoccupation with foldable devices, which is distracting the company’s attention from the need to compete with future AR and VR devices from its main rivals.

What?! But the foldable phone market is seeing explosive growth! To… uh… the levels of a rounding error for iPhones.

Now, while Samsung shareholders may think AR and VR are where future growth is going to come from, that may or may not turn out to be the case. The Macalope has yet to see a demonstration of AR or VR technology that hasn’t had him rolling his eyes or falling asleep or rolling his eyes and then falling asleep and waking up days later in a dumpster outside Canton, Ohio. Maybe Samsung should be investing more in AR/VR, maybe it shouldn’t. The point is, foldable phones were not the next big thing that everyone said it was going to be when they could use it as a club to beat Apple over the head with.

Not that Apple noticed in the slightest. That’s the benefit of having a helmet made out of money.