That feeling when your “cool-ass girl” can’t dig your online monkey torture vids

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Content warning: The following story describes instances of animal abuse.

In 2017, the Des Moines, Iowa, lawyer Philip Colt Moss was facing felony drug charges after a raid on his townhome turned up marijuana, hash, OxyContin, Klonopin, Xanax, zolpidem (the active ingredient in Ambien), and “four pills that contained methylphenidate” (the active ingredient in Ritalin).

The cops found enough material that they charged Moss as a drug dealer, but Moss’s lawyer told the Des Moines Register that his client was simply someone who “needs help.” Moss had stepped aside from his work as an attorney and “checked into an eight-week inpatient treatment facility outside of Iowa,” the paper reported at the time.