The silliest iPhone apps of all time
Sometimes you wonder what you’re supposed to do with all the technology in your trouser pocket. The answer? Well, some developers have given it some very special thought. Here’s a selection of the most bizarre apps that turn your iPhone into a veritable marvel of uselessness.
Is It Dark Outside?
App Store
Have you ever desperately wondered if it’s dark outside, but just didn’t have the heart to get up and check? Is It Dark Outside? solves the problem for you. The app checks whether the sun has set—and that’s it.
Ideal for anyone who thinks windows are overrated or wants to practice living in a bunker for potential zombie apocalypses. And those who can’t be bothered to look at the sunset time in the Weather app—or to just ask Siri.
Pimple Popper
App Store
For those who find relaxation in the art of squeezing pimples, there’s an app for that: Pimple Popper. Press, squeeze, and squirt up to four different types of pimples to your heart’s content. We warned you!
iBeer
App Store
A beer that never runs out and doesn’t give you a hangover? Sounds too good to be true. But with iBeer, you can drink endlessly—without spilling a drop. Cheers!
Kissing Test
App Store
Have you ever wondered how good your kissing skills are? Kissing Test delivers the merciless truth, without any embarrassing moments or lipstick stains. Simply select the appropriate gender and you’re ready to go. Please clean the display beforehand. And afterwards too.
Lighter
App Store
It can do everything a real lighter can do, except start a fire. Lighter is the perfect app for all those moments when you need a lighter but don’t want to risk a flame, for example at concerts. Everyone else is waving their smartphones with the flash switched on while the ballad is being played, while you–stylishly–use a lighter like in the 80s.
Screaming Goat
App Store
Who hasn’t always wanted a screaming goat in their pocket? Exactly, nobody. But if you do, Screaming Goat is the perfect choice. One click and the goat screams – you just have to calm it down afterward.
plopp – bubble wrap
App Store
For many, popping bubble wrap is one of life’s few true pleasures. So why wait for real foil when you can have it digitally? Plopp – bubble wrap lets you pop plastic bubbles wherever you are, with a 3D touch feeling (on supported devices). Incidentally, the bubbles also respond to pressure with the Apple Pencil.
Ghost Radar Classic™
App Store
If you have the feeling that your neighborhood is haunted, just let your iPhone do the work for you. Ghost Radar Classic recognizes ghosts—or at least anything that sounds vaguely like one. Whether this is really reassuring remains to be seen.
Milk The Cow: Cow Milking
App Store
If you’ve always dreamed of milking a cow but never had the opportunity, here’s your chance! Milk the Cow lets you squeeze for all you’re worth and see how much milk you can collect in a minute. Udder ridiculousness included.
Ant Smasher
App Store
For all those who like to squash ants – but only digitally, please. Ant Smasher allows you to practice destroying little crawlers. It could even be a little therapeutic if only the adverts weren’t so annoying.
1.000 dollars for nothing: the legendary “I Am Rich” app no longer exists
In August 2008, the app “I Am Rich” by German developer Armin Heinrich caused head-scratching around the world: For a whopping 999.99 dollars, you could buy an app that did nothing more than display a red ruby on the screen.
In fact, it was even bought eight times (!) before Apple removed it from the store due to public outcry. Heinrich defended his work as “art” – but criticism of the most expensive yet useless app of all time was inevitable.
Today, “I Am Rich” remains a curious chapter in the history of the App Store.
This article originally appeared on our sister publication Macwelt and was translated and localized from German by Jason Cross.
